20 July, Wednesday ‘but unfortunately I am no angel yet!’
We are back one week and we find ourselves in a strange place – suspended between an accomplishment and a new beginning. I know it is not an anti-climax. Arriving at our destination was the climax, but taking the goal away has left a void, an empty space…and emptiness. The goal, the end was always there, barely at times when we were fighting freezing temperatures in Europe and Turkey; when we were stranded because of visa difficulties: Syria and Sudan (big time); when the going became tough with body-mind-and spirit-bashing roads; when clean concepts captured in words like hygiene, water, shower, toilet, flushing,
odorless, dust free, spotless vanished or maybe have not arrived yet; when we
did not enjoy one another – when we were not a ‘nice family’ – it did not happen
too often, but boy, as Kris Kristofferson sings and I paraphrase a little:
'cause, when its good, lord, there ain't
nothing better
But, when it goes wrong, it sure can be
wrong’
I look back and I see, in the big picture,
how I left Germany, literally and figuratively spoken, in winter: my soul was
cold and shriveled up and I’ve tried to cover myself with emotional rags of
anxiety, fear, insecurities and borderline depression. Stress of any kind – how
miniscule – became the thread that kept the rags together and we had reels of
stress:
Berlin – 10 day delay trying to get our Syrian visas. We finally
decided to leave without Willie’s and made arrangements for it to be DHL ‘ed
Severe cold made it impossible for us to camp which had financial
implications
The cloud of visa uncertainty hovered over us from Germany to Serbia to Turkey: no
visa in Serbia, no visa in Istanbul until it finally arrived in Antalya, Turkey
Almost immediately the next uncertainty changed from a shadow
into a reality. We now have our visas, but not Andrej and Hugo and our hope was
that they will be able to issue visas at the Syrian border. They refused which
meant the guys had to go back to Istanbul with the bus and fly over Syria to
Jordan a week later! This meant turn around, arrange for bus and plane tickets
in places where good internet is far and in between, extra unplanned expenses.
Most of this came down on Willie’s shoulders which did not help the stress
situation at all.
During this time we received news that our container has arrived
in Namibia, but customs did not want to release the furniture to the moving
company, because of longstanding unresolved problems between the 2. We got
caught in the middle and every extra day in the warehouse cost us money. Willie
tried to figure out all the details in between campsites, traveling and
unreliable internet connections. True is the saying: far from your belongings –
close to mishap.
Egypt: In Cairo we heard from the Sudanese embassy that no visas
are issued to US citizens and a stretched out ordeal followed where we got stuck
in Aswan for almost 10 days where Willie spent days in the embassy and with the
help of the US consulate in Khartoum finally succeeded to negotiate a deal. That
did not mean the end of our troubles: the next was to find a place on a ferry
filled to the brim with Sudanese refugees from Libya; as well as for the car and
Sammie on the barge to Wadi Halfa in Sudan.
Continuous and chronic stress for almost 3
months took its toll on all 4 of us and I reached a real low in Addis Ababa
where I wondered if it would not be better for all of us if Sammie and I fly to
Namibia. I was outvoted and I’m glad that I was forced to hang in there.
These are a few of the high stressor peaks,
but we were so often rewarded, as in downhill skiing with the thrill and
exhilaration of new and awesome places, experiences and people. It was times
like these that brought perspective; times that we realize this is all worth it;
times that we discovered we are closer after conflict, because we purposefully
wrestled through issues to find solutions; times that we lack words to describe
the grandeur of nature bestowed on us in such variety of ways: mountains,
deserts, rivers, oceans, seas, heights, depths, vastness, color, gentle, harsh,
warm, cold …
Culture, language, color, face, tradition,
clothes, religion…locked up in a human being…what a fearful and wonderful
ongoing mystery…that we had the privilege to explore and experience deeper. It
was no longer a picture on a page, TV or movie screen, but we could climb into
and join it for a brief period of time.
It’s not possible to withdraw and remain an
isolated unit when you travel through 21 countries. To survive and to survive
well and safe you have to bow to, accept and respect the eccentricities of the
culture you have entered: learn the essential basics of the language – at least
thank you and please; try to understand and acquire rules of tradition and
social interaction: e.g. when you sit in a Middle Eastern country, be careful to
not show the soles of your shoes - it is rude; dress conservatively; do not
expose too much bare skin when you are a woman in many of the Middle East and
African countries and when a man, rather wear trousers than shorts; be polite,
friendly and kind. Graciously accept differences and as much as you can, refrain
from judging what is foreign and/or incomprehensible according your value
system. Experiencing cultures in the way we did, bring perspective: I am a drop
in a vast ocean of humanity – it’s not all about me, and it also brings awe for
the uniqueness of God’s incredible creation.
As days became warmer, life gradually
reduced to daily survival: will we drive or rest, if we drive – how far, where
will we sleep or camp, what will we eat and drink, where will we buy food and
supplies? Unnecessary frills trimmed away to leave only the basics and in some
strange way the same happened inside of me: I shed my rags as the thread wore
thin. Stress we had, but I stopped clinging to it. I held it lightly with Ruco’s
words forever echoing in my mind, “chillax ma, it’s just another day in
paradise!” I, likewise, had the scales pulled from my eyes: I could see more
clearly, and therefore appreciate more deeply the beauty in small things,
previously overlooked: warm, running water – greatest!; running water – greater
and if not – also great, because one can top and tail just fine in 200ml of
water! Clean, flushing toilet – greatest; flushing toilet – greater and if
neither – a squatty bush potty – very great! Food, however basic – greatest,
greater and great intertwined with immense thankfulness because we could eat!
Health and Safety: soaring thankfulness! A safe, comfortable place to sleep
even though the ground is uneven and until dust do its part – spiraling
gratitude! Thankfulness and gratitude are rivers that flow out to form a sea of
contentment that thrusts out grumbling
discontentment.
All of this sounds sweet and angelic, but
unfortunately I am no angel yet! I often stumble and crash along, make mistakes,
say wrong things, BUT I am much healthier and recovery from blunders seems to be
faster.
The change of seasons is a mysterious
wonder: the sun mischievously creeps into the day just a little bit sooner and
lingers a little bit longer than the previous day until we, 2- 3 weeks later,
express our surprise as we are surrounded by more light; temperatures rise a
wee-degree every day and we are again ‘surprised’ when we wake up one morning
with snow melting. Bare trees explode overnight and we are‘surprised’ when we
suddenly notice their soft lime-green leaves. The process is subtle, gentle and
barely noticeable. How it happened and exactly when we do not know, but there
comes a day when the change is obvious, “Summer, is here!”
How it happened and exactly when I do not
know, but the change is unmistakable: Summer has arrived also in my inner
being!
We are back one week and we find ourselves in a strange place – suspended between an accomplishment and a new beginning. I know it is not an anti-climax. Arriving at our destination was the climax, but taking the goal away has left a void, an empty space…and emptiness. The goal, the end was always there, barely at times when we were fighting freezing temperatures in Europe and Turkey; when we were stranded because of visa difficulties: Syria and Sudan (big time); when the going became tough with body-mind-and spirit-bashing roads; when clean concepts captured in words like hygiene, water, shower, toilet, flushing,
odorless, dust free, spotless vanished or maybe have not arrived yet; when we
did not enjoy one another – when we were not a ‘nice family’ – it did not happen
too often, but boy, as Kris Kristofferson sings and I paraphrase a little:
'cause, when its good, lord, there ain't
nothing better
But, when it goes wrong, it sure can be
wrong’
I look back and I see, in the big picture,
how I left Germany, literally and figuratively spoken, in winter: my soul was
cold and shriveled up and I’ve tried to cover myself with emotional rags of
anxiety, fear, insecurities and borderline depression. Stress of any kind – how
miniscule – became the thread that kept the rags together and we had reels of
stress:
Berlin – 10 day delay trying to get our Syrian visas. We finally
decided to leave without Willie’s and made arrangements for it to be DHL ‘ed
Severe cold made it impossible for us to camp which had financial
implications
The cloud of visa uncertainty hovered over us from Germany to Serbia to Turkey: no
visa in Serbia, no visa in Istanbul until it finally arrived in Antalya, Turkey
Almost immediately the next uncertainty changed from a shadow
into a reality. We now have our visas, but not Andrej and Hugo and our hope was
that they will be able to issue visas at the Syrian border. They refused which
meant the guys had to go back to Istanbul with the bus and fly over Syria to
Jordan a week later! This meant turn around, arrange for bus and plane tickets
in places where good internet is far and in between, extra unplanned expenses.
Most of this came down on Willie’s shoulders which did not help the stress
situation at all.
During this time we received news that our container has arrived
in Namibia, but customs did not want to release the furniture to the moving
company, because of longstanding unresolved problems between the 2. We got
caught in the middle and every extra day in the warehouse cost us money. Willie
tried to figure out all the details in between campsites, traveling and
unreliable internet connections. True is the saying: far from your belongings –
close to mishap.
Egypt: In Cairo we heard from the Sudanese embassy that no visas
are issued to US citizens and a stretched out ordeal followed where we got stuck
in Aswan for almost 10 days where Willie spent days in the embassy and with the
help of the US consulate in Khartoum finally succeeded to negotiate a deal. That
did not mean the end of our troubles: the next was to find a place on a ferry
filled to the brim with Sudanese refugees from Libya; as well as for the car and
Sammie on the barge to Wadi Halfa in Sudan.
Continuous and chronic stress for almost 3
months took its toll on all 4 of us and I reached a real low in Addis Ababa
where I wondered if it would not be better for all of us if Sammie and I fly to
Namibia. I was outvoted and I’m glad that I was forced to hang in there.
These are a few of the high stressor peaks,
but we were so often rewarded, as in downhill skiing with the thrill and
exhilaration of new and awesome places, experiences and people. It was times
like these that brought perspective; times that we realize this is all worth it;
times that we discovered we are closer after conflict, because we purposefully
wrestled through issues to find solutions; times that we lack words to describe
the grandeur of nature bestowed on us in such variety of ways: mountains,
deserts, rivers, oceans, seas, heights, depths, vastness, color, gentle, harsh,
warm, cold …
Culture, language, color, face, tradition,
clothes, religion…locked up in a human being…what a fearful and wonderful
ongoing mystery…that we had the privilege to explore and experience deeper. It
was no longer a picture on a page, TV or movie screen, but we could climb into
and join it for a brief period of time.
It’s not possible to withdraw and remain an
isolated unit when you travel through 21 countries. To survive and to survive
well and safe you have to bow to, accept and respect the eccentricities of the
culture you have entered: learn the essential basics of the language – at least
thank you and please; try to understand and acquire rules of tradition and
social interaction: e.g. when you sit in a Middle Eastern country, be careful to
not show the soles of your shoes - it is rude; dress conservatively; do not
expose too much bare skin when you are a woman in many of the Middle East and
African countries and when a man, rather wear trousers than shorts; be polite,
friendly and kind. Graciously accept differences and as much as you can, refrain
from judging what is foreign and/or incomprehensible according your value
system. Experiencing cultures in the way we did, bring perspective: I am a drop
in a vast ocean of humanity – it’s not all about me, and it also brings awe for
the uniqueness of God’s incredible creation.
As days became warmer, life gradually
reduced to daily survival: will we drive or rest, if we drive – how far, where
will we sleep or camp, what will we eat and drink, where will we buy food and
supplies? Unnecessary frills trimmed away to leave only the basics and in some
strange way the same happened inside of me: I shed my rags as the thread wore
thin. Stress we had, but I stopped clinging to it. I held it lightly with Ruco’s
words forever echoing in my mind, “chillax ma, it’s just another day in
paradise!” I, likewise, had the scales pulled from my eyes: I could see more
clearly, and therefore appreciate more deeply the beauty in small things,
previously overlooked: warm, running water – greatest!; running water – greater
and if not – also great, because one can top and tail just fine in 200ml of
water! Clean, flushing toilet – greatest; flushing toilet – greater and if
neither – a squatty bush potty – very great! Food, however basic – greatest,
greater and great intertwined with immense thankfulness because we could eat!
Health and Safety: soaring thankfulness! A safe, comfortable place to sleep
even though the ground is uneven and until dust do its part – spiraling
gratitude! Thankfulness and gratitude are rivers that flow out to form a sea of
contentment that thrusts out grumbling
discontentment.
All of this sounds sweet and angelic, but
unfortunately I am no angel yet! I often stumble and crash along, make mistakes,
say wrong things, BUT I am much healthier and recovery from blunders seems to be
faster.
The change of seasons is a mysterious
wonder: the sun mischievously creeps into the day just a little bit sooner and
lingers a little bit longer than the previous day until we, 2- 3 weeks later,
express our surprise as we are surrounded by more light; temperatures rise a
wee-degree every day and we are again ‘surprised’ when we wake up one morning
with snow melting. Bare trees explode overnight and we are‘surprised’ when we
suddenly notice their soft lime-green leaves. The process is subtle, gentle and
barely noticeable. How it happened and exactly when we do not know, but there
comes a day when the change is obvious, “Summer, is here!”
How it happened and exactly when I do not
know, but the change is unmistakable: Summer has arrived also in my inner
being!
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